Day Three of Life Without Alcohol

 Day Three of Life Without Alcohol

I had a long night of many dreams again. I dreamt that I was riding my mountain bike to California, and that I was doing some kind of weird construction job, and that I was shopping for bread and bologna at various supermarkets. Overall it was a busy night and the dreams, though vivid, did not disturb me.

This is day three of sobriety for me. I took my morning medications and am having a cup of coffee. It's Sunday morning and I have to get Dad going on his shower and get him to his church services. Hopefully the service doesn't go on for an hour and a half as it did last week. I feel so out of place with people who bow down and kneel to invisible gods. Why is mainstream religion all about obedience? It's social manipulation at best, and mental slavery at worst.

I haven't heard from Janelle in three days now. I hope she isn't having any problems. She may have broken or lost her phone again, and maybe she doesn't remember my phone number. Oh well. I really do not need to talk to somebody who only thinks about getting drunk and smoking weed. This coffee I have now is more than enough as far as I am concerned, and even that will eventually have to go.

I started reading a book on writing journals and memoirs. Well, I don't want to live in the past. My history is painful. I have come into contact with some of the worst kinds of people, and I am really surprised that I am even alive at 63 years old. I refuse to be controlled or made sad by my history, and as far as I am concerned, the bullshit that was done to me is over.

I suppose it might be pointless to post this recovery journey on my blog that nobody reads. It keeps me honest and has given me some relief just to spit out what's bothering me. I am very upset about having to be caregiver for my Dad now. He got miffed at me yesterday at dinner because I deboned his chicken leg and stripped out all the fat and skin so he doesn't get so much grease in his meal. seriouy, there is something wrong with a person who insists on eating fatty cuts of meat despite his advanced heart disease.

It's going to be another hot day, and I am not enjoying the idea of sitting in a cramped church with a crowd of strangers and trying to keep Dad from falling on his ass. I am the only person in that church who doesn't believe in their fantasy world of heaven and hell. And I am sick of their clergy trying to get me back into the prescribed role of a sheep in a flock of believers being led by the nose. It's bad enough I put up with that until I was 23 and finally quit believing in nonsense about life after death and their angry sky daddy.

But of course I ramble and can not seem to stay on target. What the hell is there really to say about alcoholism and abstinence? You drink beer, you get wasted and fall asleep. You quit drinking and start doing things for yourself. At least I am keeping some kind of record of my progress, and I have a reason not to get wasted ever again. I don't have money for that bullshit anyway. Time to get Dad going on his shower and make myself some morning food. 

8:00 AM, 6/29/2025.