Feeling the Aftermath

 Feeling the Aftermath

Yesterday is a distant memory to me tonight. I have a bad case of tinnitus, and my ears are seeming to be occluded. It will pass, I know. There are storms heading this way, 40 or 50 miles out, but the severe thunderstorm warnings have been taken down, though a watch is still in effect. So with the noise in my head and the coming of rain, I am in for an unpleasant evening.

I don't know why I decided to drink so much beer yesterday. It's a bad habit. You have a couple, then a couple more, then even more and pretty soon you are down for the count. I had a bottle of non-alcoholic strong ginger beer, Reed's in fact, and that seemed to settle my stomach. I have potatoes boiling on the stove for mashed, and will scramble some eggs and cheese for dinner.

I have been having complicated and vivid dreams for the last month at least. I don't know what's causing this, but it probably has something to do with alcohol. Today is day one of my sobriety, and I am not even thinking of gagging down another silo of Bud. It is oppressively hot today, and the humidity is near 100%, but it looks like the rain is letting up a bit. I think I will make it through the evening without incident.

You know, I watched a video the other day about a big drug bust in Florida, and the police officer was saying how 240,000 people have died in the last five years from fentanyl overdose. I went and looked up how many people in America had died in the same five years, and it turns out that tobacco has killed ten times as many people in America as fentanyl. Why is there no outrage or concern about nearly two and a half million people slowly dying of lung cancer? Does it have something to do with government making money off tobacco taxes? Probably more than a little.

I showed my work on this blog to Gemini AI and it told me I was fairly blunt, straightforward, engaging, and random. Well of course. My brains have been scrambled with various things like psychiatric medications for nearly 30 years now. Yes, I have had several mental illness diagnoses over the years, and have been in treatment since 1996. Alcohol is worse than mental illness though. Technically it is alcohol use disorder, a recognized mental illness. Oh well, we all have our reasons.

It's time to get dinner going. I am all written out for the time being. Just wanted to get through the day with something to show for my efforts. It doesn't matter if nobody reads this. It's for my own purposes mainly that I write, to keep myself honest and work toward recovery.

5:38 PM, 6/27/2025